Go back

Lying beside you,
I realise,
That we are no more,
What we used to be,
Yes we are not in love,
Anymore.
How I wish we were,
All the afternoons spent doing nothing,
The feeling of incompleteness when apart,
The joy of being in each others arms,
Everything just got killed,
Killed by distance,
Killed by the pain of being apart,
I loved you with all my heart,
Thought I could wait forever,
Don't know where I went wrong,
I wish we could go back,
To being happy together,
Go back to being us,
Go back to being WE instead of I,
Go back to being happily in love :(

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My Beautiful Place

Was mailing my friend some of the pictures of my place cause he wanted to see how it is.
This is the place, where I grew up among the lush greenery and rain in the heart of malnad region.Thought you guys should see it too, my beautiful place...:)



 these are just a few pictures, which don't even cover up half of what is there to see,there are many more places,and a lot more to it..:) this is just a tiny part of it!

PS:All the above pictures are taken by me or any of my friends.

For you :)

You make me SMILE :)
You BELIVE in ME.
I fit PERFECTLY in your ARMS :)
You LISTEN to me go on and on about useless things.
You LET me irritate you (tho, I dont do it purposefully :P)
You think I look HOT even on my bad bad days.
You DONT cut the call, even when I am not talking but just keep crying.
You are the BEST kisser! ;)
You are the most GENUINE person I have ever met.
You have the cutest brown EYES! :)
You TOLERATE all my moods swings!
You give me all your CHOCOLATE's even though you love it, more then me.
You eyes TWINKLE when you see me dressed up..:)
You PROUDLY show off that I am your girl.
You LOVE me a LOT!

And you know what honey??
I love you a lot too, and these have been the best TWO years of my life!!! :)

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Another Ending

I met a guy; I met him in a club. I met him when I was drunk. Not exactly drunk, but yeah alcohol was controlling my thought process, and at that moment I taught I was crazy and fun to talk to the cutest guy in the club. It was just for the tonight, yes, after this night, I’ll never see him again.

But, things don’t exactly happen like you expect to, does it?

I did meet him again, not once but 5 more times.

Was I seeing him? No. where we even dating each other? No. where we really good friends? No.

What was between us? I still don’t know, and I didn’t want to give it a name.

Long distance is hard, though you keep talking every day, there will be some emptiness around you. It gets worse. Especially with couples around. So when suddenly a guy comes into your life, taking care of you and treating you in a way no one ever as, you are bound to do some stupid things. But, thankfully I have a boyfriend who understood this.

I did some things too. No I didn’t cross any of my limits. Not physically at least.

But, yeah, I did let my emotions go a little out of control. I put a lot of things on risks. I forgot, that I wasn’t supposed to expect anything. So life became a little mess, with loads of distractions.

Now, it’s over.  how?  I don’t know. The magic vanished. When I think of it, there was nothing there in the very first place. Atleast not something we could give it a name too.

It does feel weird, since it happened all of a sudden, though it took me around 3 days to realize it and accept it. It’s not like I expected it to last forever. Best thing about it, I feel like some burden is taken away from me. I don’t have to worry about anything, I no longer have to hide things, and I no longer have lie.

Yes, life’s almost normal..:)

Dull Colours

HEY everyone!

I know it’s been weeks since I last wrote. Have been busy with couple of things, nothing such happened that was worth sharing or treasuring. It’s raining heavily. Colors of life are pretty dull these days. With November rain playing in the background “Nothing lasts forever and we both know hearts can change, and it’s hard to hold a candle in cold November rain” is all I can relate to.

 Only people I totally loved and cared have always cheated on me, literally-non literally. And I forgive them, though from inside all I want to say is, fuck you, didn’t you know I would get hurt? What the hell where you thinking before doing it! Yes, I’m smiling from outside, and saying it’s alright it happens, that is because I love you, but the truth is you hurt me real bad!

Yes, like you must have figured out, life’s a little mess now. A lot of mess actually. And never been this restless in life. On one side I’m trying to get over things and it’s like I’m holding on it even more.

On top of it all exams this month and next and all this shit doesn’t exactly help you with concentration.

With hopes of better days, sunshine, love and promise of a more cheerful post next time, very soon, I’m signing of today!

Prince Charming, where the f*** are you???

Do you still remember when you were a young girl, watching disney films, love seemed such a promising and quite easy thing. You figured one day, when you'd be a bit older, you'd fall in love with this amazing man, he'd ask you to marry and you'd have babies and he'd totally adore you and all would be great! As a teenager you already started realising slightly that it's not as easy as that, you would come to the conclusion that some guys are jerks and you would get your heart broken. But still hope remained, it was normal to go through a few heartbreaks before finding mr right! He'd come along soon enough, so you got over the jerks and went on your merry way to fall in love once again.

But for some he doesn't come along soon enough. Sometimes you have to wait years before you find someone again. Happened to me once in college, not fun, especially not when surrounded by people in really long relationships and throwing it in your face. You just wanna punch those annoying happy people! You're wondering where the f*** your prince Charming is, did his train get delayed or what?

I guess for some of us the rollercoasterride that is life is slighty bumpier and loopier than for others. But it will happen guys, don't despair !

So what do you all look for in a man (or a woman if any of you who read me are men). Do you think you have very high standards?
I do think I have a type, but to be honest that doesn't mean much, you can have the hots easily for a guy who looks a certain way but end up with a guy who looks totally the opposite.
I once met a man who said he always loved girls like me, pale, little freckly, with reddish hair, and he married a tanned woman with black hair and dark eyes. So having a type, doesn't mean you refuse to date other types.

What's my type? hmm..

Let's think, I usually get weak in the knees for guys with the following appearance:
- blue eyes (or green)
- curly hair
- dark hair
- relatively pale usually
- tall (but not giantesk)

And so far most guys I dated had all or some of those qualities. But honestly, I'm not that fussed :D As long as there's a spark (we're talking just looks here, of course personality is key) a guy might just as well be tanny, dark eyed and light haired.
The most important thing, something that isn't always very clear when you first go out with someone, is his/her personality. Sure, you get the general idea in the beginning, but people tend to hold back the annoying for later on unfortunately.
I know there's plenty of fish in the sea, but people hate hearing that, the sea is a bloody big place and how do you know what fish to pick? If only the holy grail appeared over someone's head if he's your mr perfect, looking would be a lot easier.

Maybe that hilarious facebook group is right: sometimes your knight in shining armour is just a retard in tin foil. It happens to all of us at some point.

But hey, as feminists would say, be your own knight! Hell yea. Elizabeth the First didn't need no knight either!

Ugh who am I kidding? I want loooooooove. Corny, romantic, barfingly perfect to others loooove

Of chances..

Isn't it ironic, that when you meet someone new, and you start liking them, and getting close, you expect them to behave and understand you, like the previous person did. Comparisons are though just inevitable. This happens especially in relationships. Even though you may see someone complaining endlessly about how horrible her ex-boyfriend was, but after sometime or months or year into a new relationship,same person would be wishing how her current boyfriend was like her ex atleast at some point. We start expecting things, even without trying to understand the other person, or even without giving them a chance to know you.
Is it because we are used tob the other person so much, or it generally takes time to adjust to new things. Whatever it is, relationships takes a lot of time, effort, patience, to know a person, to understand, to adjust. When all that comes to an end, all that is just waste, of no use at all. That chapter in life is over, you are never going to study that again.
Is there any point in getting into one?? Answer just varies, sometimes it's a yes, sometimes its no.

You!!!

From a long time, I wanted to write about you. Yes, you. I know you hate it when I do something like this. I know you don't know how to react or what to say. I know even if you read it, you will pretend like you haven't. I know you feel akward when I put you in such situations. I know how you feel, I really do. I have seen my friends go through it when someone goes out of their way to make them feel special. I always wonder why people who like it don't get it and people who don't deserve get it??? Isn't life unfair???
There are so many people in my life, so things to write about..why am I writing about you?? why do I constantly keep thinking about you?? why do I forget the world when I am talking to you?? Why do I even stop worrying about me, when it comes to you?? Why does it happen??? Does it happen to you to?? Do you feel the same way I do??
My friend  asked me.."is this love?? what is love??" I didn't know what to tell her, cause I didn't know the answer myself.
There are so many questions I want to ask, I know how you hate questions. I sometimes wonder if you were always like this, you weren't. I know. I sometimes wish I could see that you too..but I know that you is no more. You have changed.. I am not complaining, you know that, you know how happy I am. But you also know when it comes to you, I am very selfish and want everything.


PS: I didn't know what I was writing when I started it, I ended it there cz I didn't know how to end it. Hope it's not turned out to be bad!

Papa's little girl..

You are reading about a 21 old, who would love to be forever papa's little girl, then grow up to be a women. Tho, she is realising every single day that she is growing old, and it's almost time for her to be a women,and to step into real world. But, she doesn't want to. She's scared. She knows in next 5 years she might be done with her studies, living on her own, earning probably,might be engaged or god forbid married to someone. She'll have no other choice but to grow up,and take all the responsibilities. But now, she's not ready. She wants to remain papa's little girl for little longer, where she is loved, pampered, taken care of, and got nothing to worry about...before she becomes the earner,wife,mother, a WOMEN.

Nostalgic

This was the one of the first pictures taken from my new phone, which my parents gifted me for my birthday.
I had just reached college at 7.30 a.m. tired from traveling whole night, right leg bandaged unable to walk properly, along with that I had to carry all my luggage!
I had just got into long distance relationship, he was in some other country now, after he left, there was nothing going right for me, I even tripped and fell in a hole with my leg bleeding and no one around me to pull me up also.
I called up my mom and dad. Almost cried.
But more then that I missed him, I wanted to call him and tell him I hurt my leg, and that it was bleeding,I wanted him to say "appi, it's gonna be alright, don't worry" and make me forget about the pain.
Unfortunately, he didn't have his phone connection yet. There was no way I could contact him. I cried myself to sleep in the bus.
At around 2'o clock in the night, he called me up, by that time the whole leg was swollen, but just listening to his voice made me feel so much better, there was someone for me.
The whole long distance has made me stronger and independent. And I am glad I am doing things on my own, taking decisions on my own, have more time for me and my friends.
But I miss him, and I have to wait months together to see him again.

LOVE STORIES!

 I asked some of my friends about what are the crazy/stupid/sweet/cute things they have done in love which they wouldn’t have done otherwise, here are some answers...

• ·         Spend whole night on road in front of the girl’s house, till 6’oclock in the morning, and talking on phone with her. Yes he was lucky enough not be caught by cops.
• ·         Set up a date with another girl.
• ·         Shout loudly for the whole world to hear, “isn’t my fiancé yummy???”
• ·         Buy  a laptop.
• ·         Travel each day for 3 hours; just to meet the girl and travel back again for 3 hours.
• ·         Every time the girl came home, he had to cook and feed her with his hands, cooking included even making tea for her, yes; she didn’t even move her ass.
• ·         Work in the hotel, to buy a gift.
• ·         Make a soft toy.
• ·         Steal money.
•          Make a heart shaped metal, in workshop, day before exams.
•     Go on the stage, in a crowded auditorium and say “I love you ____”

These are just a few answers, there many more things said and done in love. Some love stories work out, while the others just end half way. But, being in love is the best feeling in the world.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!!

Happy valentines day!!!
I had actual proper post for valentines day,due to internet  problems in college unable to put it up, hopefully I will be able to post it soon! And this is the reason I am unable to read and comment on other blogs too!
It's been a week since college started, and its been awesome awesome fun! more of it later!
see you guys soon!

PS: I got my valentines day gift, and I totally love it!

I don't know why I am feeling this, maybe because everything happened on the same month last year, we decided our fates, we decided our lives. But I never gave it a thought, like I have done now, everything is clearer than ever. And it isn't pretty. Two days ago, we spoke about you. After I thought about the whole thing, and it makes me sad. It makes me sad, that it was me who came in between. It was me who changed everything. But you got to trust me; I have told you before also I had no idea at all. Back a year and half ago, I just didn't know something like that was there, or that he ever thought about you, before he made a decision about going for me. I just saw you, like the way I saw my past. I assumed things, a lot of things. When I realized you were more to him, and then I was, I didn't give a thought why, but only thought taking your place, in my defense I was in love. I hated you; I hated everything about you, because he liked you, because he trusted you, because he would've chosen to hurt me, but not you. But you know something, he was also in love with me not you, you were never ready to accept it and let him go, I hated you even more for that. You knew him so well, you made him feel guilty, yes you did, and He still thinks it’s his entire fault. I don't hate you anymore, it’s been a year and we both are very happy in our lives. It’s just that at one point, our future inter dependent. What we chose was best thing that for both of us, even you probably realize that.

DAY ELEVEN

THE DREAM

I had kinda weird dream last night. It wasn't scary, but I'm scared. It not unusual, I keep getting weird dreams but most of it I don't remember, but this one I do very vividly.

First,I'm carrying two big suitcases going back to hostel probably, all alone. On the way my suitcase falls on the ground, someone tries to help, so I say to that person "I'm used carrying luggage all alone, its okay I'll do it" and the next moment I call my parents and say I cant do it alone, you guys have to come.

Next the whole thing changes and I'm inside some place like the way to temple in tirupati, its all crowded,people are pushing each other and all that, at the end, while getting down the stairs, some auntie and my mom talk, they are happy.

Next the whole thing changes, I'm outside some building everyone is there,there are two big buses, I don't know who all but they all are there, then my papa comes outside the building, he's got pop-corn chicken in his hand, and he's very happy too. He's even got ice-cream, he asks me which ice cream do I want ,I say chocolate, and he gives me that.

Then the scene changes into a room, I'm trying out  Saree and blouse, its day before my WEDDING!!!My parents are discussing something. I clearly remember the colour was red, then I tell my mom to get another Saree, and she tells me, no this will look better even my papa agrees,the suitcase I thought was my hostel stuff, is actually my wedding stuff! After sometime,I am lying on my bed, I'm very very nervous, unable to sleep, some aunties are talking in the background, telling that they both know each from so many years and things like that, and I'm thinking about the photos the groom and I were together in the past, and I think start thinking about him,if he is also this nervous, will he be awake too, is it okay if I text him, or should I not contact him till the wedding..and all of a sudden I woke up!!!!

Sad part,I didn't come to know who the groom was.

This is happening for the 2nd time, first time I was supposed to be getting married in a church, my parents were all happy, I was wearing the white dress and heels it was all so beautiful. We were all waiting for the groom to arrive before he did I woke up!

Anyways, if you have read till here then thank you for actually reading my stupid dream  and god bless you!
 Have a nice day :)

DAY EIGHT

THE SONG THE THAT BEST DESCRIBES HOW I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were hereI'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

SONG: VANILLA TWILIGHT by OWL CITY


PS: I'm missing you right now, and oh darling, I wish you were here!

20 Day Challenge- DAY ONE

Well, being new to the blog world I have never done tags before,since almost the whole of the blogging community has done it, thought will start with this, since I have my semester holidays going on I have lots of time for it too. It will be one question per day. A question for next 20 days.

A RECENT PICTURE OF YOURSELF AND 15 FACTS ABOUT YOU!



Okay, I havent thought much about me before atleast not summed up in sentences, but here we go..

1. I can have a conversation with ANYONE!

(many a times my friends ask me, how do you even talk to that person, well its easy for me! and it doesn't mean that person is my friend)

2.I find ANT the most irritating creatures on earth.

3.I love DOGS, yes,even the dirtiest puppy on the street!

4.For a GIRL, I eat a LOT! sometimes its really embarrassing, and no I am not FAT.

5.I love FLOWERS, more then chocolates.

6. I am very ROMANTIC, and I romanticize everything.

7. I can remember RANDOM conversations from long ago.

8. Right now, I am MADLY in LOVE!

9. I prefer reading BOOK, to watching MOVIE.

10.I don't like MILK or any of the milk products.

(except for curds and butter milk)

11. I have never been on a NIGHT-OUT, or stayed AWAKE the whole night.

12.I suck at SPORTS.

(Actually, I suck at almost everything)

13. I LIKE dressing up people.

14. I need to CRY once in a while, even without reason.

15.I am scared of ELEVATORS!

RECENT PHOTO,

this is the most recent photo I could find and the girl in white is ME!!

Some of those moments...

Sometimes its not a big thing that leaves a mark, its little little things in our day to day life that makes an impression...
when a baby, looks at you and smiles


without realising,you hold hands when crossing the road


 unexpected thank you note


smell of freshly washed dried clothes


unexpected and FAST downloading speed.


the time when you know that, things between you and him is more den friendship.


hot water bath after a tiring day.


single red rose.


hand written letter
.
clearing when you thought you will fail


warm wet sand in the beach.
 
last hug,when u know u wont see each other for a long time.


when someone keeps checking your temperature when ill.


 looking at your baby photos.


fighting for hot chocolate cake.


giggling with your girls,checking out some hot guy.


going through old stuffs, and finding something you thought was lost.


when you realise its the last five mins for bell,when u r really hungry


when chandler propsed monica,when ross yells"did she get off the plane?did she get off the plane?", when
pheobe spoke to her triplets,when rachel turned thirty.


when people call to wish you on your birthday, and you cant pick it up cause you are attending some stupid boring lecture.


soft pillow and warm blanket on a cold night


 you are waiting,counting every min he is on phone with some other female,comes back smiles and says "jealous?" and you say "why should I be jealous?"


last exam.


proud look in your parents eyes.

MOMENTS LIKE THESE MAKE LIFE!!!!

Heart Break

My friend comes to me early in the morning stinking of cigarette and alcohol.

Me- y this bad?

Friend- smoked up whole night, we broke up (he n his gf)

next thing that happened I will never ever forget in my life.. He rolled up

his sleeves n showed me his hand which was badly cut, with blood dried

all over!!!(shudder)

I do realise that it is a very hard time and that you end up doing

something irrational.

But when someone breaks your heart that bad,isn't it obvious that they

don't deserve you?!

Y do you want to walk around carrying that scar for the rest of your life?! Its

just so so stupid!!

Other things I have seen people tried doing,

• jumping from 3rd floor!
• run off to goa!( I know GOA!!)
• lock herself in her room with knife in hand!( god! all of us outside were so scared!)
• stop eating, it was so bad that he was actually admitted!
• follow the guy everywhere!
• go complain her parents about what she did to him!(so dumb!)
• but, cutting hand is like the most favorite.