Papa's little girl..

You are reading about a 21 old, who would love to be forever papa's little girl, then grow up to be a women. Tho, she is realising every single day that she is growing old, and it's almost time for her to be a women,and to step into real world. But, she doesn't want to. She's scared. She knows in next 5 years she might be done with her studies, living on her own, earning probably,might be engaged or god forbid married to someone. She'll have no other choice but to grow up,and take all the responsibilities. But now, she's not ready. She wants to remain papa's little girl for little longer, where she is loved, pampered, taken care of, and got nothing to worry about...before she becomes the earner,wife,mother, a WOMEN.

Nostalgic

This was the one of the first pictures taken from my new phone, which my parents gifted me for my birthday.
I had just reached college at 7.30 a.m. tired from traveling whole night, right leg bandaged unable to walk properly, along with that I had to carry all my luggage!
I had just got into long distance relationship, he was in some other country now, after he left, there was nothing going right for me, I even tripped and fell in a hole with my leg bleeding and no one around me to pull me up also.
I called up my mom and dad. Almost cried.
But more then that I missed him, I wanted to call him and tell him I hurt my leg, and that it was bleeding,I wanted him to say "appi, it's gonna be alright, don't worry" and make me forget about the pain.
Unfortunately, he didn't have his phone connection yet. There was no way I could contact him. I cried myself to sleep in the bus.
At around 2'o clock in the night, he called me up, by that time the whole leg was swollen, but just listening to his voice made me feel so much better, there was someone for me.
The whole long distance has made me stronger and independent. And I am glad I am doing things on my own, taking decisions on my own, have more time for me and my friends.
But I miss him, and I have to wait months together to see him again.

DAY 13!

                          A letter to someone who hurt you

Well, I am confused who do I write it for, its not that lot of people have hurt me, its just that I dont let things go easily.It takes a lot of time for me to forgive and forget.You might say I am one of those stuck up bitches :)So a letter in general to all  those people.

DEAR SOMEONE,

                            Thank you for stopping by in life, you gave me a new experience, and taught me a new lesson. It did hurt when you left, but what you did was the best thing that happend to me.I am a much better person now.

                                                                                                                         

                                                                                                                              yours, someone         

PS: you know the someone is you, when you read this :)

I don't know why I am feeling this, maybe because everything happened on the same month last year, we decided our fates, we decided our lives. But I never gave it a thought, like I have done now, everything is clearer than ever. And it isn't pretty. Two days ago, we spoke about you. After I thought about the whole thing, and it makes me sad. It makes me sad, that it was me who came in between. It was me who changed everything. But you got to trust me; I have told you before also I had no idea at all. Back a year and half ago, I just didn't know something like that was there, or that he ever thought about you, before he made a decision about going for me. I just saw you, like the way I saw my past. I assumed things, a lot of things. When I realized you were more to him, and then I was, I didn't give a thought why, but only thought taking your place, in my defense I was in love. I hated you; I hated everything about you, because he liked you, because he trusted you, because he would've chosen to hurt me, but not you. But you know something, he was also in love with me not you, you were never ready to accept it and let him go, I hated you even more for that. You knew him so well, you made him feel guilty, yes you did, and He still thinks it’s his entire fault. I don't hate you anymore, it’s been a year and we both are very happy in our lives. It’s just that at one point, our future inter dependent. What we chose was best thing that for both of us, even you probably realize that.

DAY ELEVEN

THE DREAM

I had kinda weird dream last night. It wasn't scary, but I'm scared. It not unusual, I keep getting weird dreams but most of it I don't remember, but this one I do very vividly.

First,I'm carrying two big suitcases going back to hostel probably, all alone. On the way my suitcase falls on the ground, someone tries to help, so I say to that person "I'm used carrying luggage all alone, its okay I'll do it" and the next moment I call my parents and say I cant do it alone, you guys have to come.

Next the whole thing changes and I'm inside some place like the way to temple in tirupati, its all crowded,people are pushing each other and all that, at the end, while getting down the stairs, some auntie and my mom talk, they are happy.

Next the whole thing changes, I'm outside some building everyone is there,there are two big buses, I don't know who all but they all are there, then my papa comes outside the building, he's got pop-corn chicken in his hand, and he's very happy too. He's even got ice-cream, he asks me which ice cream do I want ,I say chocolate, and he gives me that.

Then the scene changes into a room, I'm trying out  Saree and blouse, its day before my WEDDING!!!My parents are discussing something. I clearly remember the colour was red, then I tell my mom to get another Saree, and she tells me, no this will look better even my papa agrees,the suitcase I thought was my hostel stuff, is actually my wedding stuff! After sometime,I am lying on my bed, I'm very very nervous, unable to sleep, some aunties are talking in the background, telling that they both know each from so many years and things like that, and I'm thinking about the photos the groom and I were together in the past, and I think start thinking about him,if he is also this nervous, will he be awake too, is it okay if I text him, or should I not contact him till the wedding..and all of a sudden I woke up!!!!

Sad part,I didn't come to know who the groom was.

This is happening for the 2nd time, first time I was supposed to be getting married in a church, my parents were all happy, I was wearing the white dress and heels it was all so beautiful. We were all waiting for the groom to arrive before he did I woke up!

Anyways, if you have read till here then thank you for actually reading my stupid dream  and god bless you!
 Have a nice day :)

A year ago....and now

A year ago...

1-jan-2010, 12.a.m 

In my hostel room

sleeping 

my phone starts ringing, I try ignoring it, it still goes on,half  heartedly open my eyes,its my friend who hasn't called me in quite some time...

me- hey...

friend- heyyyyyy!!! happpppppyyyyyyyyy newwwwwww yearrrrrrr!!!!!!

me- oh,yeah, erm, wish you the same.

friend- where you? what you doing?

me- sleeping.

friend- what you are sleeping on new year's eve? what wrong with you? blah,blah,blah...

After some 15 mins of  conversation,before I went back to sleep, I thought maybe I would something special the coming year.

A year later

31-december-2010, 11.30 p.m.

at home

with my sister watching some cheap ass episode of emotional atyachar, where a fat, ugly foul mouthed bitch and a short purple strapless, price tag not removed dress wearing bitch are trying to hit each other with stones for a fat, bald, pimp like looking gay guy or whatever that the story was, only god should know.

when the clock hit 12, we just turned our head and said happy new year,since we had already eaten the cake, we were supposed to cut at mid night, so there was nothing else to do.

I got 2 text messages,4 calls(excluding my boyfriend), 3 from guys who had asked me out, or were still asking me out and other from a female I haven't met at all, I don't know why she called me, maybe even she felt the same after the awkward conversation.I know,sad set of people who remembered me.

Where the hell were my friends? where they all partying??? I couldn't find out cause I had no balance to call or even text.

Just thought another one of those new year's eve and was fast asleep by 12.30.

Is it better then what I did last year?

hmmm.. I don't know, and who the hell cares!

I will definitely party this year!!! :P