Several times now I have read in newspaper about people getting a heart-attack out in public, by themselves, and nobody bothers to ask if they’re ok and just walk past, while these people just suffer for ages until family or friends arrive. What has happened to people? Have we become so anti-social and wary, living in our little bubble of friends and family, and not bothering to give a helping hand to strangers?
The article I just read was about a woman who got a heart attack and was with her young daughters in the mall. She was completely out of it and confused, was not able to talk and walked around as if drunk to then sit down at her usual café with her daughters, slumped with her head on the table. Her daughters being so young thought mommy was tired. The employees figured she was drunk and left her there for two hours without asking anything. The woman actually drove home in that state with her daughters. Her husband noticed there was a big problem and finally got to the hospital and of course the lady afterwards made a big complaint to the café about their behaviour and the total lack of help they gave her. They apologised and gave her 35 dollars worth of coupons..
Another story was of a man getting a heart-attack on a Ryan-air plane. He passed out and his daughter-in-law, a nurse, tried to get him to breath again, which he did eventually. She called for a doctor, and when the flight attendants finally came they figured it was just low blood pressure, gave him a sandwich and some juice, and charged him for it. There was no ambulance called at arrival. The woman had to take her father-in-law to the hospital herself.
It seems that we can no longer count ‘on the kindness of strangers’.
People seem more and more reluctant to ask people if they’re ok, and just leave them to their devices, probably figuring ‘they’ll be ok’. I’ve really noticed this around here as well. Neighbours aren’t really friendly anymore, as they would be back in the olden days, they nod to each other and that’s pretty much it. Nobody here will say hello on the street or often not even smile to a stranger, even in small villages (as I noticed they do sometimes in other countries). People have no time, are always in a rush, and don’t want to get involved in strangers’ emotions. Only if people are actually visibly hurt, as in e.g. a car crash, people will try to help. I usually smile when someone in the street looks right at me, to be friendly, but I noticed most people don't do that, and just ignore everyone as if they see right through you.
Of course if someone seriously gets assaulted, it’s hard to intervene as there is personal danger, so you’d have to be a little daring to actually get in between then. But when you see someone who looks sick or upset, would it be that weird to ask them if they are ok? Clearly a lot of people prefer to shrug it off and not get involved. Strange culture we are in today. And the odd thing is, a lot of the time, the person not feeling well or upset, will often get annoyed with people asking if they are ok, which is even stranger. Funny thing here, if someone random starts talking to you, a lot of Belgian people will look at you with a ‘why is this person talking to me!’ expression. We’re so not used to being addressed by strangers in public (except pubs and the sorts of course) that we immediately go in alarm mode. Of course there are exceptions, but in find the overall majority here to be like this.
Another reason why I like Ireland is because people there seem to be less like that. I remember, many years ago, I had said goodbye to someone at the Brussels airport and I was rather weepy on the way back to where I live. This lady suddenly asked me if I was ok, did I need some water, had something happened to me, did I want to sit with her? She was Irish, and so incredibly friendly! I was just so surprised by someone actually trying to be of help. In other weepy alone situations I found people generally just look at you with an ‘aww poor crying girl’ expression, and that’s it. But that lady actually talked to me the whole way she was on the train with me, telling me all about her trip here and where she was from, and wondering would I be ok. Cheered me up a lot. I always remembered that. It’s that rare!
I don’t know if I would talk to someone who was crying, I must admit I’m used to the general idea that people want to be left alone and might snap at you if you bother them when upset. But I’d like to think that if I would see someone who looked visibly unwell, I wouldn’t just figure it was nothing and walk on, but would ask them if they needed help.
What about you? Do you feel people in your country seem detached and to themselves, or actually very open? Would you talk to someone who is visibly upset?
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