Not a good day

Just as the teddy above, I'm having a bad day. Work is very unpleasant today. My co-worker, the German, is in a bad mood again and is downright rude. As the accountant I sometimes get a huge amount of paperwork, and we don't have much deskspace, so I often put stuff on the spare desk, where the moneybox is as well. The German doesn't seem to care that I'm working on those papers and carelessly shoves them aside to get the moneybox, instead of just picking it up. Thanks lady. She does this all the time btw. And don't even think I can at all move her papers, she gets snappish if I just minimise something on the spare computer she was working on, to use a programme myself. If I leave something open on there she always hits cross, she just did it now actually, now I have to start the whole thing over again. Having several windows open is seemingly a concept she is not familiar with. Her moments of pleasantness are quite unusual. She barely ever chats with me, which really sucks. It would've been nice to work with someone who wants to talk for a bit during the 8 and a half hours I'm here.

Guess you can't choose who you work with. It's even making me miss my temp job at the commune, where my mom works, in the secretary's office. Lots of people came in during the day, had a chat and a laugh, there was even lots of gossip (not that I'm a gossip, but hey, I'm a very curious person and if you're gonna tell..) and there was a radio. Here it's total silence. I did mention a radio once and my boss said sure get one, but I am very certain German lady will not approve. She already yells on the phone as it is.

All in all feeling a bit not good today, so with the annoyance at work this is not a great day. I guess sometimes, the pandora's box we've got hidden away will burst open and hit you in the face, and all we can do is try our best to shove all of it back in to make for a brighter day.

So to make up for the dreary post, here's another one of those funny animal photos that always seem to crack me up.

I've come through

Even though there are still things in my life right now that make me sad and blue, I know that I'm strong enough to get over it, and feel better the next day. I know that because as a teenager I was really low, due to certain painful events, and I wasn't able to cope with it properly. It took me a long time to feel happy about myself and forget about the painful experiences, and getting my heart broken badly along the way to growing up didn't help.
But now I feel like I've pulled my act together and I've learned better ways of dealing with sad things. I've put the past in a box, not forgotten, but it has a place now and it doesn't bother me anymore.

I used to think life was really cruel, that other people seemed to get all the luck and I got all the crap, but when you look around properly you realise that really isn't so. There will always be people who are better or worse off then yourself, you should find the good in your own life. I once got a poster from a guy with a long quotation from Desiderata, and what it said really made sense to me, especially the end:

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.


And it really is a beautiful world. I've come to realise that lately, now that I'm truly entering grown-up life. Things won't always work out the way you want them to, you will get hurt, you will have sad moments, you might feel bad about yourself, but the key is to not focus on these things. They will pass, you won't feel sad forever. Happy moments will come along. And it's those that make life worth living, it's those you should think about instead of hanging on to things that will only make you bitter. As a young girl growing up, it's too difficult sometimes to see the good, you're still unable to look further in the future and emotions run wild and sometimes they're all over the place and you have no way to contain them. This is what often leads to bad ways of coping. Luckily, we do grow up, we learn to control our emotions and find ways to cope.

Although being a teenager was fun at times, I'm glad I've grown up and feel better in my skin and about life in general. No more sitting alone in a dark room feeling sad and pondering, time to get out, and if you're still there, get out now! Go outside, there are better things out there.
There is so much good in the world and so many beautiful things to see and amazing things to experience.

I learned to focus on the little things. When I feel blue, I might have myself a good cry for a moment, but then it's time to get up and dry my tears and laugh again.

What are the little things for me that make life great?

* Singing loudly in the shower, not caring who hears
* A nice evening at home with my family watching tv
* People who show real gratitude for me helping them at work
* My dogs happy and greeting me when I come home
* Wearing an outfit that makes me feel confident and attractive
* Laughing with friends and reminiscing crazy moments from the days in school
* Shopping with my mom
* Seeing a great movie
* Sitting in the garden under the parasol on a sunny day, just enjoying
* Getting a compliment
* Be amazed when seeing a beautiful place
* Hearing great stories of family members long gone
* Seeing cute babies
* Making new friends

There are so many more. If you had to list all the little things that put a smile on your face and make you feel good, that list might very well be very very long. Think about it, you might realise life is short, and not seeing for what it really is, is a true waste.
Strive to be happy!